Learning To Fly
by brina michelle
Summary: Hawke has to learn to move on after her brother Carver passes into the void... But why does her heart feel like flying?


Hi guys! This is my very first fan fiction and I'm pretty nervous about it! :/ any reviews and feedback you leave me would be greatly appriciated. this is gonna start out kinda slow but i have a great vision for this,

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><p>NEW BEGINNINGS<p>

Alexandrea sighed as she gazed into the ceiling in her new home, if that is even what she should call it. She hated feeling this way, but she missed Lothering. _No_, she thought, _I miss how things used to be. Before the Darkspawn..._She missed the Revered Mother at the Chantry. She missed teasing and flirting with the Templar recruits. She missed Father, but that was an old heartache. _Carver..._ She missed her brother more than anything. _If only I was watching him better, _she lamented, _If I could have stopped him Mother wouldn't cry herself to sleep every night. I wouldn't feel this guilt... __**No. **__Its not truly my fault. Carver knew better than to charge an ogre, Cailan and the Wardens both said they were the strength of the Horde._

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><p>Alexandrea huffed and threw herself out of bed, landing on the balls of her feet to avoid making any noise to wake her sleeping family. She threw on her light leathers and crept out of the house and locked the door behind her. Hearing the noise from one of the inns she headed down the street. <em>What better way to feel better than a few pints of ale... <em> She still had some of her enlistment money hidden away _Enough for a few drinks anyway._

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><p>Alexandrea slumped over in the streets outside of Gamlen's house throwing up the contents of her stomach. <em>Well...Shit..<em> She retched again but there was nothing left to come up. She struggled to clear her head. Flustered Alexandrea pushed herself up against the wall and stumbled through the alley behind the house. Once she reached the door to the house she sat down on the back steps and let the memories come.

They couldn't have been more different. Alexandrea was slim and graceful while Carver was a beast of a man with a lot of upper body strength. She had a head of thick blonde curls where he had thick black locks. She had Mother's and Grandmother's eyes, Carver had Fathers. She was kind and joking, he was a mountain that she couldn't crack.

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><p>Her and Carver were running for their lives. They had barely escaped! Ostagar was a total loss, the Teyrn's men never showed letting the darkspawn over run Cailan's army. They stood their ground and fought until the rest of their unit was lost, they were the last.<p>

"Carver, we have to leave. We have to get to Mother and Bethany!" Alexandrea shouted to her brother amidst all the chaos.

"Alright, Sister. We need to hurry though!" He snapped as he sliced through two darkspawn genlocks, felling them with his great sword. Alexandrea surged behind Carver and sliced at the belly of a hurlock with both of her daggers as it charged at her brother. Carver brought his sword down using his weight to add to the momentum of the blade and sliced through the monsters torso.

"Come on!" she grabbed his hand and started running to the North away from Ostagar and towards Lothering as fast as their feet could take them. She wasn't sure what they would do when they reached Lothering and their family, but they would do it was a family. Their king had fallen, the darkspawn were overrunning Ostagar, the army's main defense, and the Blight was spreading.

They made it back to Lothering all but dead on their feet. They gathered all the food that the four of them could carry without hindering themselves to much. Alexandrea started to bark orders at her family someone had to take control of the situation. "Come on, we have no more time, Lothering will be lost by nightfall we must hurry!" She grabbed a bag a Mabari crunches as she left her home. With a whistle Kojak, her faithful Mabari war hound was at her heels bounding after them excited to be on the move. She led them out of Lothering and towards the hills.

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><p>The memories were coming in flashes now rather than blocks - their confrontation with Aveline and her templar husband Wesley - Alexandrea doing everything in her power to protect her family - fighting back to back with Carver and the point while Bethany defended their mother. – Carver charging the ogre to save their mother – the ogre crushing carver in its grasp! – Alexandrea fell over in tears she wanted to see her brother again, but she never would. Her baby brother was called to the Marker's side to early in life. She laid there on the steps crying for what seemed like hours until she succumbed to the Fade...<p>

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><p>Alexandrea woke up before the sun rose and quickly unlocked the back door and snuck into the side-room where the Hawke's were sleeping in Gamlen's house. She hoisted herself up into the top bunk and curled up in the blankets and hid her face. She couldn't let her family see her like this. She had to be strong. She would be strong for Bethany and make mother proud. She would make a name for her self and honor Carver's memory and make him proud. He was with the Maker and Father now. <em>He would knock me on my arse if he saw me like this!<em> She wiped her eyes and let a hint of a smile show, _ I love you brother, you may not have seen it as so, but I do._


End file.
